Baking Cakes
by pinoykengumi7
Summary: The duty of telling Misao about the birds and the bees has fallen on Aoshi. But nothing could prepare him for this...
1. Aoshi's Predicament

**Baking Cakes**

By, **pinoykengumi7**

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

**Note:** I have no idea if there are bush turkeys in Japan. Forgive me; it's just a fanfic. I tried to make it as non-OOC as possible.

-

THIS IS NOT A RECIPE ON HOW TO BAKE CAKES

-

She really did like nature, especially those birds and bees. What more was expected from a 6-year-old girl?

"Look Aoshi-sama. That bird just did a poop-pee." Aoshi internally groaned. Said 6-year-old also had a knack for noticing the not-so-pleasant facts of life. Which brought him to ask, out of all people, why did it have to be him to explain to Misao about the facts of life? She would figure it out… one day. Heck, he was still going through… through puberty! Gods, he hated that word. Yes, she would definitely find out without his help… but probably with Okina's. He shuddered, Okina's voice still fresh in his mind when he had had _his _informative talk. No, that was too scarring for a young girl like Misao. Which was exactly why _he_ had been unanimously elected to tell Misao about 'that'.

"I think it's about time she learnt that storks do _not_ bring babies," Okina said, preening his little stubble of hair on his chin.

Oh yes. The main reason for that was because Misao constantly approached Okina, asking him to ask the storks to bring a baby for Hannya-kun. Aoshi stifled a smile. Well, just how was he going to start this little 'talk' of his anyway? Ah. An analogy.

He took a look around at his surroundings. Trees. Bushes. Shrubs. Great. How was he going to work with those? An image of Okina came to mind. "…Ohoho and the bigger tree 'jumped' onto the smaller tree…" Aoshi winced. Definitely not the correct approach.

"Aoshi-sama, what are those two doing?" His eyes promptly widened as he saw what she was pointing at. Two birds, probably bush turkeys, were 'getting it on'. That was the easiest way he could put it without getting so embarrassed that it, well, led to _other_ things.

"Well?" Damn Misao. The girl didn't have a knack for noticing things like this; she had a talent. Well there was no getting out of this one. Swallowing hard, he prayed to the gods he wouldn't make a fool of himself, cursed 'puberty' –his voice was currently breaking- and silently asked for the birds to stop their somewhat energetic activity.

He mustered up all his courage and…"They are reproducing." Aoshi mentally slapped himself. First, it sounded like "the-AY are ree-prO-joo-SING". So much for trying to sound serious. Secondly, Misao had a determined look on her face – she would find out what they were doing, no matter what the cost. And if that wasn't bad, those birds were still at it. Why didn't children come with 'reproduction knowledge' installed in their minds?

"Hey, Aoshi-sama! That bird looks like it's hurting the bird on the bottom."

He grimaced. It was either 'let Misao have the wrong idea' or 'make a fool of myself'. A sound that Aoshi identified as a muffled laugh reached his ears. He swiftly turned around, but only saw a flash of red. Ah, that meant Hannya was here. Beshimi probably came to get a laugh out of it too. Well he'd show them. "Misao-chan, they are merely mating."

"Mating?"

"Yes. That is how… how they make babies." His face was definitely on fire.

"So you mean storks don't bring babies?" Another chuckle from behind was heard.

"Precisely."

"Do you think those birds could make Hannya-kun a baby?" Aoshi laughed. So did someone else, apparently, for he heard his best friend hiss, "fool!" Well it was time he had some fun. But first he'd have to clear up this 'bird' business. He had the perfect example. She was bright, she would understand.

"Misao-chan, imagine that there is a queen who wants to bake a cake but she is missing an ingredient." Misao nodded and pursed her eyes shut. She was probably trying to envision the situation. "Now, the king is the only one who has that ingredient. So the king gets a messenger and gets him to send—"

"Aoshi-sama, I don't see what this has to do with those birds _attacking _each other."

"Just wait, Misao-chan. It's getting there. Now where was I?"

"The messenger," Misao prompted.

"Ah, yes. So the king sends a messenger to give the ingredient to the queen and now she can make her cake!"

Misao cracked open one eye. "I don't get it." She shook her head for emphasis. Aoshi sighed, so maybe she wasn't so bright. He ignored the eruption of snickers behind him. He could deal with them later… actually, now sounded fine.

"Hannya, Beshimi. Come out," he called loudly, not missing the "oh Kami-sama".

"Hannya-kun and Beshimi-kun are here?" She ran behind him. "I found you, Hannya-kun! But where's Beshimi-kun?" She tugged at his hand and brought him out in front of Aoshi.

"Lucky good-for-nothing got away," Hannya muttered.

"Misao-chan, why don't you ask Hannya about mating?"

"Yeah! Hannya-kun, what's mating?" Hannya cleared his throat, shot Aoshi an 'I-will-get-you-back-for-this' look and then opened his mouth to speak… but nothing came out. Aoshi stifled a laugh, earning him a glare. It seemed Hannya was weighing his options – tell Misao the blunt truth, or use and analogy like Aoshi had. He opted for the former.

"Misao-chan, those birds which you saw before were not hurting each other, but were having sex."

"Sex." Misao repeated.

"Yes." Aoshi's eyes bugged out. He hadn't expected Hannya to be so… so _frank_ about this matter. "Male birds have body parts called testes. These help the female bird have the egg."

"How does the test-tees help?" Aoshi felt like shaking his friend and yelling why on earth was he explaining so bluntly to a mere child of six about sex.

"They make something called sperm. And then when that gets put into the female bird, she can have an egg."

"How does it get put into the female bird?" Misao's eyes were now wide open with curiosity.

"You see those birds over there?" Both Aoshi and Misao turned. Another pair was 'baking cakes' as Aoshi so tactfully put it. "The testes are on the back of the male bird. He has a hole that the sperm passes through and into the female bird's—"

Aoshi promptly fainted, his face flushed.

-

Hey Aoshi-sama! Wake up!" Aoshi blinked. This certainly was not the forest, where those birds were… were 'baking cakes'. He still couldn't bring himself to say 'sex' openly, and 'baking cakes' seemed a lot milder than 'getting it on'.

"Misao-chan?"

"Aoshi-sama, I learnt a lot from Hannya-kun today! He said—"

"Oh please, no, Misao-chan." A pained look crossed his face.

"Okay then," she shrugged nonchalantly, none of the vibrancy leaving her face. "By the way, Hannya-kun helped me bake a cake!" Aoshi instantaneously fell forward out of pure shock.

"Hannya-kun! Come here quick! Aoshi-sama's nose is bleeding!"

- Owari -

OMAKE (for those who want more)

Hannya: Shame on you, Aoshi. Thinking such perverted thoughts at the mere age of 16.

Aoshi: -blushes furiously- S-She was the one who—

Hannya: Now now, Aoshi. Watch out, otherwise you might get the bed a bit… -muffles laugh-

Aoshi: -looks down- Oh crap.

Misao: -walks in with Okina behind her- Aoshi-sama, um. Why do your pants look very big around _that_ area?

Okina: -feints shock and quickly covers Misao's eyes with his hands- OH MY MISAO-CHAN! YOUR VIRGIN EYES!

-

**Author's Notes**

Kekeke. What fun I had writing this, especially the analogy and omake! Oh, childish innocence! XD I hope you all liked it. Please leave a review, for the sake of the duck. C'mon, be a sport. You've made it this far, laughed a bit, so why not make me happy!

Ehhhh, just for the count, I want to know if I should continue this as a collection of one-shots featuring Misao growing up and turning to Aoshi to teach her. -grins- Inform me in your review...

Laters then,

-Duckii Mustang-


	2. Mr Mousey

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters.

**Title:** Baking Cakes

**Status: **2/?

Whoa. I finally got this done. This one wasn't as funny, but I hope you enjoy it anyway –grins- Poor, poor Aoshi!

Constructive criticism welcome.

-

Misao paced furiously around Aoshi's room, a frown on her innocent face. She was quite put out that her Aoshi-sama hadn't let her sit on his lap. But then again, she wouldn't really want to at that particular moment. She eyed 'The Bulge' curiously. When she had asked Hannya, ("Hannya-kun, why does Aoshi-sama have a bulge there?") he just muttered something before scuttling away. The only words she was able to catch was "stiff" and "I don't want the _okashira_ to yell at me again."

Misao stopped briefly to gaze openly at her idol. So what if he was stiff? Wouldn't that just make it easier to sit on his lap? Sometimes his back was too…too _bendy_ and she would often wake up with sore muscles after falling asleep on Aoshi's shoulder. But her intelligent 6-year old mind told her that she had missed the point and was now going around in circles. Well, she knew what to do. She'd ask Aoshi-sama directly. After all, he didn't look like he was meditating, and… was that blood dripping from his nose? Suddenly he stood up and ran out of the room. Misao scowled. She'd just have to ask Omasu and Okon instead.

-

The whole Aoiya went deathly silent. It was during one of those moments where everyone just quietened down that little Misao had popped the question to Omasu and Okon. All would have been somewhat okay if Misao hadn't asked while they were serving the Aoiya customers. And she had asked in such a loud voice, so it was no wonder that the majority of their customers were sitting there like lifeless, wooden toys.

Well, who wouldn't, if a 6-year old girl bellowed at the top of her lungs, "Okon! Omasu! What does being stiff mean? Aoshi-sama's got a big bulge here," (here she indicated the area and the size) "and I asked Hannya-kun what it was but all I could hear was 'stiff'." Heck, the tiny pout on her face would have been cute and causing customers to squeal if she hadn't said all _that_ at maximum volume.

"Eh, Omasu, why is everyone quiet? Okon?"

"Ehehehe…" Omasu laughed nervously, her hand behind her head in an embarrassed fashion. "Maybe Hannya thought that what was stiff— maybe he was talking about—" she looked desperately at Okon, who hastily yelled out her input, which she thought to be helpful.

"—a tree!" Everyone fell over and deadpanned.

Omasu coughed lightly and ushered Misao out of the restaurant, saying, "Maybe you should take a bath and then stay in the house. After all, it is a very hot day."

Again, Misao's natural instincts knew that they were hiding something from her. So off she went to find her next victims – Kuro and Shiro.

-

"Ne, do you know why Aoshi-sama has a big lump here?" Again Misao gestured to the lower region of the body, causing Shiro to nearly cut off his thumb. "Hannya-kun said it was stiff or something like that." This time it was Kuro who shouted in pain. It appeared he had grated some skin off his thumb. Both men gave each other faltering looks.

"Well, you see, Misao-chan— Ouch! What did you hit me for?"

"What do you think you're doing? A little girl shouldn't know of those things yet."

"But she _asked_!"

"She still shouldn't know."

"She's going to learn eventually."

"So let her learn later."

"Um…" Misao's timid voice was unheard. Taking in a deep breath, she yelled with all of the strength she could muster, "WHY WON'T ANYONE TELL ME WHY AOSHI-SAMA HAS A BULGE BETWEEN HIS LEGS?!"

All was silent. It was so quiet a pin drop could be heard, or in this case, a cup shattering on the hard, kitchen floor.

Three pairs of eyes turned to the intruder.

"I-I came to get a cup of green tea."

No response from Shiro and Kuro.

"Aoshi-sama, no one will tell me what this," she emphasised 'this' by attempting to prod him in the lower region of the body. (Lucky Aoshi caught her hand before she could poke him.) "—is." Misao's tiny voice had broken the awkward silence, but had also, again, brought on another period of awkward silence.

"Um," was all Aoshi could say. He shot Shiro and Kuro a meaningful look which clearly screamed out 'save me from having to do this! What did I do to deserve this? I'm innocent!' It was just too bad that they were sprawled out on the floor, out cold. But then again, if he was going to explain an embarrassing topic such as this, he'd like to keep his dignity and pride intact. And so he began his talk with Misao, with a dignified clearing of the throat.

"These are called _family jewels_ or _family heirlooms._" He felt proud with having said that. He hadn't expected to even say that with such fluency and confidence. Thank goodness that his voice was now lower and deeper than it was two weeks ago, when he had tried to explain to her 're-PRO-duc-TION'.

"Air-looms?"

Aoshi shook his head. It looked like he'd have to go for the 'analogy method' again to explain to her.

"Let's try again." A blush spread across his face. "In my pants, no, every man's pants, there lives a small mouse."

"Your family air-loom is a mouse?"

"Forget about the family heirlooms for now."

"Okay."

A fly buzzed maniacally around the room.

"Is that it?" Misao's eyes were wide open, shining with the… the inquisitive eyes of a 6-year old child.

"That's it."

"So the bulge was a mouse."

Aoshi nodded his head. Finally something had sunk in!

"Does Mr. Mousey ever come out to say hi?"

Aoshi Shinomori, aged 16, _okashira_ of the _Oniwabanshuu_ fell to the ground and was unconscious for the next two days.

Author's Notes

Heh. Analogy wasn't that great this time. I didn't really want to delve into that area HA HA HA. But still, I had fun writing it! Errr, and is it _Oniwabanshuu_ or _Oniwabanshi_ or _Oniwaban_? I've seen so many variations and I have no idea which one it is…

And just for the count, I want to know if I should continue this as a collection of one-shots featuring Misao growing up and turning to Aoshi to teach her.

Review?

-Duckii Mustang-


	3. Charged Magnets

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters.

**Title:** Baking Cakes

**Status: **3/?

Again, not as funny. And less torture to Aoshi. Maybe he's matured a little haha XD But enjoy anyway…

Constructive criticism welcome.

-

It was the beginning of the Cherry Blossom viewing festival and Misao was functioning on the thought that her Aoshi-sama was going to take her tonight. In fact, that was the only reason why she was in a kimono. Okon and Omasu had adamantly told her in the morning, "If you don't wear a kimono, Aoshi-sama will think you're not pretty and won't take you tonight", and of course Misao wanted to look pretty for the one she idolized. So she hastily slipped into a pink kimono with a flower print and a darker pink obi with help from Okon, to the delight of both women.

"Aoshi! Can you go to the market and buy some food for the Aoi-ya? Shiro and Kuro are out the back and I can't seem to find Hannya and the others. They seem to disappear when I need things done for me, the good-for-nothings. Take Misao with you too. She's been talking about you all day, non-stop." With this, Omasu pushed Misao outside with a list of what to buy in one hand and a basket in the other.

"Let's go, Aoshi-sama! To the market, forward!" A small smile formed on the youth's features as he fondly watched the little girl marc down the dust road in her geta sandals, almost tripping over in the process. But Aoshi couldn't ignore the little tingling sensation at the back of his head. It was like something was going to happen, and it definitely wasn't going to benefit him. He shrugged and caught up the little girl, hoping that Misao's curiosity would be watered down by the excitement of going with him to the festival. He certainly wasn't ready to explain something to her, even though the last embarrassing question she had asked him was over two years ago.

-

The two strolled into the marked, shopping list and basket on hand, and made a beeline for the seafood stall. It was at this point that little Misao spotted two people busily engaged in a kiss that looked breathtaking, and not in a good way either. Just, literally taking the breath of the people who were openly displaying their… lust for each other.

Aoshi was cursing the daring couple for their shameless exhibition in the broad daylight in the midst of a public place when Misao's high voice piped up. "Ne, Aoshi-sama, what are those two doing?" Misao's question was just as shameless as the couple, Aoshi thought. But he brushed it aside and told the little girl not to worry, and to foget about it. Unfortunately for Aoshi, Misao's curiosity was not to be defeated by a simple "forget about it", even if it was Aoshi-sama who said it to her.

"Ne, Aoshi-sama. Why won't you tell me what they were doing?" Misao pouted and waited for Aoshi as he purchased the last item on the list.

"Now now, Misao-chan. What they do isn't your business, you know."

"I know, Aoshi-sama. But I still want to know. Can you tell me why their faces were stuck together? Was he—" Aoshi's big hand clamed over her mouth. People had paused to listen to the little girl's innocent questions and were pointing and were politely concealing smiles behind their hands.

"Excuse me," Aoshi bowed to the little crowed that had gathered around, then hurried away, taking Misao with him. When they were out of the market streets and well on their way home, Aoshi gently asked the unusually subdued girl, "Are you okay, Misao-chan?" The little girl shook her head from side to side and pouted.

"Why won't Aoshi-sama tell me what that man and woman were doing in the market?"

The youth sighed, put down the basket and squatted in front of Misao so he was eye to eye with her. "Because Misao-chan is still a little girl." He stood up, brushed some imaginary dirt off his pant legs and beckoned the girl to come. "Come on Misao-chan. Look, I'll give you a piggyback when we get home." Misao vehemently shook her head.

"I'm not little and I'm not going until Aoshi-sama tells me what they were doing." Her eyes became big as saucers and tears started rolling down her face, leaving a shiny trail. Aoshi sighed. He really needed to practice resisting that look because he knew he couldn't do anything against her if she looked up at him with eyes like that.

"Okay Misao-chan. How about this? We drop this off first before Omasu gets angry and then we can talk." The little girl sniffled and rubbed her eyes but nodded.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Ten minutes later found Aoshi and Misao sitting at the base of a tree facing the Aoi-ya.

"Those two…" Aoshi stopped. How was he going to explain this one to her? He really wasn't in the mood to make silly analogies, like the last two he'd told her. And anyway, Hannya had told her that she deserved to know the truth. Scratch that.

"Those two… Misao-can, every woman and a man have a magnet in their mouths." Inside, Aoshi was astounded at the horrifyingly bad excuse he had come up with. The job of being _Okashira_ must have really been getting to his head if his excuses were this lame.

"Do I have one?"

"No. Only… big people do."

"Do you, Aoshi-sama? Can I see it?"

Aoshi coughed lightly. "No I don't have one, and the magnets are invisible. You can't see them, but they're there." He paused as her 8-year-old mind soaked in the information. "So when those two put their mouths together, its because the magnets pulled them together, okay Misao-chan?"

"Why doesn't all of the big people do that then?"

Aoshi sighed. He was still in his teens, yet his sigh was like one of an old man who was tired of life and was about to die. Well, that's what he was thinking might as well happen, being coerced into telling Misao about the facts of life. "Don't be silly, Misao-chan. Now let's get ready for tonight, shall we? Or Okina will change his mind." Aoshi felt somewhat bad for not telling her the truth, be he truly believed she was too young to know. At least she had accepted the explanation he half-heartedly offered.

-

Aoshi and Hannya were walking around, pausing occasionally to look at the stalls. Misao had been kidnapped by Okon and Omasu for a shirt while.

Aoshi took this as an opportunity to discuss Misao's curiosity. "Hannya—" he started, but a pundle of pink fell at his feet, huffing and puffing.

"Aoshi-sama, I saw Jiya and some other woman and their magnets pulled their faces together. But," Misao stopped to take in a much-needed breath. "Jiya's hand were also on the woman's—" she made a arc motion on her chest. "—thing. Does that mean Jiya has magnets on his hands as well?"

Her innocent question bowled Aoshi over and left Hannya bemused, thinking that it was about time Misao learnt the truth about thinks like this.

That is, until Misao just as innocently turned to Hannya and asked while motioning to the vicinity of her chest, "Why do women have these big things?"

- Owari -

OMAKE (for those who want more)

Aoshi and Hannya are pacing around in a tightly confined room

Aoshi: Hannya, when you told me to tell Misao the truth, I thought that you told me because you did too. But instead—

Hannya shakes his head and places it in his hands

Aoshi: INSTEAD YOU GO AHEAD AND TELL HER THAT WOMEN STICK WATERMELONS DOWN THEIR KIMONOS INSTEAD OF TELLING HER THAT THEY HAVE BREASTS!

Okon and Omasu enter, wide-eyed.

Aoshi: Gfl; deajgkl;da.

-

Author's Notes

I must say, the Omake was a lot more interesting. Anyway, more chapters later on. Definitely. And one about the menstrual cycle will come. Soon. I'm trying to do this in chronological order, so yeah. Just wait until Misao gets around that age XD and then you'll have a chapter.

-Duckii Mustang-


	4. Storks Again?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters.

**Title:** Baking Cakes

**Status: **4/?

Belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! (Yes, I started writing this around the beginning of 2008 XD) Sorry for the late update – the wheels in my brain don't seem to be working quite as well when I'm sick. So, if this chapter isn't as funny, I blame it on the cold, and the late hours. Yep, it's midnight. xD

Thank you for all of the reviews! They really make me happy reading them, and I love to hear your feedback! Though I'm surprised no one had anything to say about the many many typos in the last chapter. I just read through it and found so many.

Jazzy – Your review cracked me up XD I'd say I'm sorry, but really, I'm not xD I've read stories like that too, and most of the time my getting in trouble is due to me blowing it by laughing. I'm just glad that you're enjoying the fic!

Izzay – I totally agree with your last line!! Just like Misao to think something like that!

Aoshifan – Haha! Well laughter is the best medicine, so I'm sure there's nothing wrong with having a good laugh!

-

When Aoshi was 20 and Misao a mere 10 years old, another misfortune befell the poor, unsuspecting prodigy. It had been only 2 years since Misao had fired one of her questions (of course in the name of childish curiosity) that resulted in the inevitable jab to his dignity. And little did he know that she would strike again.

It was just another of those beautiful days that he spent outside, sitting at the base of a tree, quietly reading a book. He was just reflecting on how peaceful it was when the very epitome of un-peaceful and energy came bouncing up to him.

"Ne, Aoshi-sama" She saw one of his eyebrows raised up and took that as a cue to continue. "I—"

"Hm?" Aoshi peered at her over his thin wire-framed reading glasses.

"Never mind." She sat down next to him, unusually silent. Her forehead was scrunched up, her eyebrows close together as if she was deep in thought. She chewed on her bottom lip; a habit Aoshi observed that she had picked up just recently when she was pondering the great wonders of life.

The great wonders of life, Aoshi mused. Surely she wasn't thinking about— There couldn't possibly be anything else she could ask him—

"Aoshi-sama, why don't I have these lumps?" Misao gestured wildly in the vicinity of her chest.

Heck, why him.

Aoshi sighed, carefully took off his glasses and put them in his pocket. One good thing was that with age he had learned to handle these questions with a little more maturity and—

"Do I need to put watermelons in here?" She stretched out her shirt a little, just enough so she could look down at her chest.

"gd;ajg klda." Aoshi's book fell to the ground, both pairs of eyes watching it as it squashed a poor, unsuspecting grasshopper. Maturity, his foot. If this was handling questions with maturity, then he must be a grasshopper with 6 legs.

Upon regaining his composure, he picked up his book and watched silently as the squashed grasshopper took its last breath, its last erratic leg shake, and its last little taste of life so cruelly and unfairly ended. And with the death of the 6-legged grasshopper, he too, fainted.

"Aoshi-sama?" In vain she tried to shake him back to consciousness, but instead fell face forward on to Aoshi's broad body, which in turn woke him up from the impact. "Aoshi-sama… your hands…"

He gulped. His hands were on her chest. And her chest was really, really flat. It was like… he searched for a phrase that would describe it. It was like putting his hands flat down on a table. A rigid, wooden table.

"S-sorry." Still in a half embarrassed state, he slowly retracted his hands from said surface that held likeness to a table.

Misao was close to tears.

"Misao-chan?"

"AOSHI-SAMA WON'T LIKE ME BECAUSE I'M FLAT!" Her sudden outburst took him aback.

"Hah?!"

Misao ran off to the house bawling her eyes out, leaving her dear Aoshi-sama dumbfounded and just a little, only a little, embarrassed.

-

"Hannya, I really don't know how to approach this situation." Aoshi pleaded his friend, who hid a smirk underneath his mask. "How do I tell her that, that br— breasts— just come naturally?"

"Maybe she's just a late bloomer," was Hannya's only response to the captain's predicament.

"Well I wish Mother Nature would shine on her more so I wouldn't have to handle these _absurd _questions she asks." The two men exited the room, unaware that there were two ladies listening in on their conversation.

"Late bloomer, huh?" Okon and Omasu snickered behind the door, amused by Aoshi's plight.

-

That night, Aoshi got very little sleep. The image of the poor, unsuspecting grasshopper dying plagued his mind. He tossed and turned and tossed and turned until he fell into a light, restless sleep. As he was drifting in and out of consciousness, he thought he heard Misao's shrill voice vaguely in the distance, asking, "Okon, is this how I do it?" He quickly dismissed the thought and closed his eyes.

The next morning, Misao crept into Aoshi's room to look into the mirror. She started doing her exercises quietly, or so she thought, until Aoshi woke up. He sat up and with one hand rubbing his eyes sleepily he asked, "What are you doing in my room, Misao-chan?"

To which she replied oh-so-honestly and graphically, "I'm exercising, Aoshi-sama. See?" And she demonstrated for him. She pulled her elbows back so her chest was thrust forward and then brought her elbows back to her front and repeated the same movement. "Okon and Omasu told me that this should strengthen my muscles in my chest and then I'll be able to get the same lumps as them."

Aoshi abruptly fell back, his head narrowly missing his western-styled pillow and hitting the floor with a resounding smack.

"That's got to have hurt," Misao muttered to herself.

"Misao-chan, come here and sit on the futon." Aoshi sluggishly dragged himself up from the floor, rubbing his sore head. He waited until she did so and then inhaled deeply; preparing himself for what he knew would be one of the biggest embarrassments in his life. "These—" Aoshi awkwardly pointed towards his own chest. "The _lumps_ on women don't come naturally. There is a… a stork which gives each woman a magic potion when they feel it is time."

"I thought storks brought babies, not m-magic potion to grow lumps."

"dakjglsa." Aoshi coughed violently. "No, they do _not_ bring babies; they bring this, this magic potion. Just think of it as water needed to make a tree grow."

"Right. Why don't boys get them?"

"B-boys," he stuttered. "Storks don't like boys. They only like girls."

"So when will they come to me?"

"Just wait your turn, Misao-chan. I'm sure they will very soon," he choked out.

Surprisingly Misao accepted this without much further ado, leaving the room whistling a happy tune. Aoshi was feeling quite pleased with himself until he overheard her conversation with Okon.

"Okon, Aoshi-sama says that storks carry magic potion to make these grow bigger. When did you get yours? If the stork doesn't give me my magic potion now, Aoshi-sama won't like me!"

Aoshi stuck the tissue that was preventing his nosebleed further up his nose. Maybe he should have just left her to doing her exercises.

- Owari -

OMAKE (for those who want more)

-Aoshi and Hannya are sitting quietly in a damp, gloomy corner-

Aoshi: Hannya, I know how you feel. I ended up telling her that storks bring around magic potion that make breasts grow.

-Hannya laughs bitterly.-

Hannya: At least you didn't tell her that women stick watermelons down their kimonos.

Aoshi: I-I did touch her chest though. She's quite f-flat.

-A gasp is heard from behind the door-

-Hannya glares daggers at Aoshi as Misao's wails are heard.-

Hannya: Pervert.

Aoshi: gdaljgdalg –sweatdrop-

-

Author's Notes

Mmm. I need sleep. Like now.

Next chapter… perhaps menstruation? Keep tuned for the next installment hehehe.

--Duckii Mustang


End file.
